How my list making addiction benefited my family

So, confession time...I am addicted to making lists. I absolutely love, love, LOVE to create lists. It can be a list for chores, groceries, to prepare for an event, anything really. I will even admit that I get more satisfaction from creating the list than I do actually doing any of the items on the list. LOL

However, I have found that making lists has actually made me and my family better at actually completing an entire task. For instance, cleaning the house is one thing that the entire family seems to easily get side-tracked on. And none of us our immune from our inability to stay focused.

The youngest started cleaning the kitchen, but when she went outside to take out the trash, she saw the kitten and had to stop and pet it. Then she realized the kitten needs food, and that her box needs a fresh blanket put down. Two hours later, my sweet girl comes back inside from taking out the trash and completely forgets to finish cleaning the kitchen.

My son was given the chore of doing laundry. While collecting dirty clothes from all bedrooms, he notices his sister's wrestling bag on the floor which reminded him that he forgot to bring in his practice clothes after open mats the night before. When he goes into the garage to get his clothes from the truck, he sees the sign that he had painted for his room and left to dry. So, he brings it inside to hang on his wall, yet still never grabbed his practice clothes from the truck or even changed around one load of laundry.

I could actually make lists upon lists (we know how much I love to make lists) of the ways that all of us get distracted. Not one member of our household is immune from it.

So how have we worked together to come to a solution for this issue?

I made a list!!! I know you're shocked right now!!! haha I actually made several lists...ahhh talk about therapeutic. Mama's now in her happy place.

Here's how I did it:

I stopped trying to make it about doing one chore for the whole house at once. Instead, I broke each room down. So, laundry no longer includes going room to room to collect dirty clothes, washing windows doesn't mean every window in the house, even sweeping the floors is done room by room.

I, also, I made the lists very specific, and each list is put in the room that it is for, so if I am cleaning the kitchen and get distracted in another room, I can come right back to see what needs completed. Sometimes I will even start on lists in another room. Like when I'm putting away laundry that has been piled on the living room couch, I will see the list in my room and decide that I should go ahead and make my bed. I enjoy doing it that way. I like going room to room and doing a few things, but thanks to my lists, I know exactly what else still needs to be completed. I just turn on the music and go at my own pace.

Now the kids, they like to make it into a competition to see who can complete the most list items the fastest, and as they complete something, it gets crossed off and initialed. They have always enjoyed competing over everything from who can eat their food the fastest, who can get their seat belt on first, and now who can complete the most number of chores!

I'm not going to complain at all about their competitiveness if it means the chores are getting done! Mama gets to make lists and clean at her pace, and the kiddos have found a way to make it fun for them. Where as before there was always fighting about who had to do which chore. Now they look at the list and get to work.

Here's a few examples of the lists that I make for each room:

Upstairs bathroom
Clean mirror
clean mirror frame
clean window, make sure to clean the window sill
clean off and organize vanity countertop
wipe down vanity countertop, sink, and faucet
clean inside toilet bowl
wipe off outside of toilet bowl and the top, sides, and bottom or tank
clean shower walls, shower floor, shower head
take dirty clothes to the laundry room
sweep and mop floors

Dining room
clean off table
wash table top and dry it
put table runner back on, if it is dirty, take to laundry and put a new table runner down
wipe down chairs: backs, seats, legs
if chair cushions are dirty, use a rag and spot treat it
move all chairs to sweep and mop under table
wash window, this means also flipping window in to wash the outside of it
take all shoes to the front closet or bedrooms of the shoe owner and washing the window track
sweep and mop the floor by the patio door
wash patio door - inside, outside, and door track

As you can see the list is comprehensive, not just clean off the table which to me as mom would include everything listed. However, I have learned that to my husband and children, clean off the table simply means removing items from the table and does not include actually washing it down, replacing dirty table runners, etc. I have found the more detailed I am, the better it all gets done.

We are far from perfect, and there are days that even my lists aren't able to save us. But they do help a ton, and I hope they will help you, too!

And remember...a messy house means that you've been blessed with a family that is loving life, well-dressed, and eating well!

Being A Married Mom Isn't Always Easy

***Disclaimer: this post is not my usual kind of post. It is almost rant-like. Please read it all the way through before attacking anything that I say. I just needed to vent. ***

I am not attacking single moms, but I am tired of hearing about how hard it is to be a single mom. Today I want talk about how much of a struggle it can be to be a married mom. Just because you have another adult in the house, doesn't mean that life doesn't have complications or that it isn't hard. There are actually times that having another adult in the house makes things more difficult than they would be without said adult. I love my husband with all of my heart (we have spent the last 20 years together because this love is strong and unyielding), but I would be lying if I claimed that I have never had the thought of how much easier some things would be if I was doing it on my own...I'm sure he has had these thoughts as well.

I have heard it said that single parents have it tough because they have to get their kids to all of their activities and events with no help from the other parent. Well, the fact that one is married is not a guarantee that both parents are equally involved in everything. Most days, I am the one getting all four of our kids prepared to go to whatever event or activity we have for the day. Oh, how I would love to sit down and read a book while I waited until the last minute to get myself ready, but I don't have that luxury. No, instead I have to start getting myself ready at least two hours prior to when we have to leave for somewhere, so that I know that I have enough time to get four other family members ready to go on time as well. I am the one that sets out everyone's clothes...even my husband's. On the rare occasion that I do decide to not push everyone to do what they need to do and only worry about myself, we without a doubt will end up running late. I have occasionally allowed myself to believe that I will receive extra help getting the kids ready (and I won't have to do it all by myself), but that never ends well for anyone in the household. My husband will without a doubt be upset that we are running late, the kids will be frazzled because they can't find their shoes or don't have their hair brushed when it is time to leave, and I will be mad at myself for allowing it to get this far. It also falls on my shoulders to ensure that all necessary equipment, books, food, etc., is also loaded into the vehicle and ready to go on time. And if something does happen to get forgotten, I, as mom, am always the one to claim the blame. Even at bedtime, I am the one to make sure that everyone has had their baths/showers, brushed their teeth, brushed their hair, said their prayers, and has had their bedtime story read.

My helper in getting everyone ready.

I am the one that takes the kids to their practices, lessons, and doctor's appointments. I stay up late wrapping presents on Christmas Eve and filling eggs on the night before Easter. I don't even know that my husband could name their doctor or dentist. And I know that he has no clue as to the amount of time that I spend trying to make each and every holiday perfect. He is generally asleep within an hour of the kids going to bed; while I am at least 3-4 hours behind the kids.

When I want to have a girls' night out or even go to the grocery store by myself, I always check with my husband to make sure that he doesn't have other plans for the day or evening before. Actually, I check with him before doing anything that would require me to be sans kids. . This, by far, differs from his world of being able to send me a text letting me know that he will be stopping by a friend's house or the store after work.
And as for household chores, there is not the extra hands-on help that some assume come with being married. There are days that I get help, but those are far and few between. The cleaning and cooking are mine to do (Yes, I realize part of this is my job as a stay at home mom, but a little help on the weekend would be amazing). I have even felt at times that I have a fifth child that I am cleaning up after and taking care of.

Then there are the times that I have everything planned out and a schedule all set, only to have it ruined by my husband deciding that today he has made plans for the family. Do you realize how challenging it is to change things just because someone has decided they want to do something different than your plan? During these times, I find myself thinking that as a single mom I would be able to do as I pleased and my plan would still be intact.

Typical Dad fun while
Mom is busy cleaning.

Now let's talk about when a parenting decision needs to be made. Because my husband and I are two individual people, our parenting styles don't always match. It can be increasingly frustrating when we have to decide on disciplinary issues...even our decision to homeschool was not an easy one. We both had lists of pros and cons, and it was a long drawn out process to get to a conclusion. However, I expect to have differences when it comes to major decisions. I am caught off guard and become annoyed when we disagree with little things like snacks or volume level of play around the house or in the car. I believe that the kids having a piece of fruit or vegetable while waiting for supper to be ready is perfectly acceptable. My husband does not. If they aren't hungry for supper after a healthy snack, is there really any harm done? Perhaps because I am home with the kids all day, I am more laid back. I am sure that coming home after being gone for 10 hours and working in all weather conditions does make one want to come home to relax to a quiet household; I just have a hard time wanting the kids to act any differently than children should. I believe kids should run and play and make noise. Although there are times that they should be quiet and listen and be calm; I don't see time around the home as one of those times (unless it is during our school time).

I don't want any of you to think that I'm complaining about spending time with my kids; I love them more than I could ever explain. However, I am merely pointing out that just because I am married to my husband, I do not have any more freedom than that of a single mom. I would almost venture as far as to say that I have less, at times. I don't have every other weekend kid-free (not that I would be a very willing party to having my kids gone every other weekend). I am not able to just do as I please because another adult is at home. I usually don't get the help getting everything organized and keeping everyone on track. I don't get the extra help cleaning the house and doing chores.

It really is all worth it when you are in love!

I also don't want anyone to think that I don't appreciate my husband.  He is a super hard worker, and that takes him away from our family at times that I know that he would rather be with us. But he being gone and coming home tired makes it difficult for him to be as active as he or I would sometimes wish. Thus, being a married mom isn't always easy.

I'm sure there are people out there that have it all together and that fully support each other in everything...I just have yet to meet any of these people. As two independent people, it is certain that married people aren't going to agree on everything and that they will over-react to disagreements at times. It takes a lot to make the conscience decision to work through it all. We know that we have made this commitment to one another before God and all of our family and friends. This bond that we have together is one that stretches to its limits at times. But through faith, love, and prayer we are able to come back together stronger than we were before we were stretched. It isn't a cake walk to be married. There are, most certainly, ups and downs. There are days that I think of how it would be easier to be on my own (and as I previously said, I'm sure my husband also has these days). During these times, I turn to God through prayer, and I am always led back to my husband's waiting embrace. The following two Bible passages have always been ones that have stood out to me whenever I begin to question just how difficult marriage is. I know that God will lead me through the tough times, and I am positive that the love my husband and I have for each other is greater than any of the struggles that we will ever face.

John 16:13: When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.

1 Corinthians 13:13: So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.