Sorry, But Your Daughter Is Being Bossy

At least once a week, I see a meme on my Twitter or Facebook feed that addresses Facebook CEO Sheryl Sandberg's ban bossy campaign.
I believe that Ms. Sandberg had great intentions with her campaign. Nobody wants to see young girls (or any girls for that matter) be told that they shouldn't follow their dreams or that they should allow anyone to squash their dreams. Having three daughters of my own, I don't ever want them to think that they aren't able to achieve their goals. I do, however, want to see them be respectful of others while they are achieving their goals. I don't want to see them stepping on anybody to get to the top or see them treating other people as if they are pawns. I think that we need to reevaluate the ban on bossy. Some girls (and boys for that matter) are not showing leadership skills; they are being bossy.

According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of bossy is: inclined to domineer (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bossy), and the definition of domineer is:
to exercise arbitrary or overbearing control (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/domineer)

Think about that. Do we really want our daughters to be domineering or overbearing? Do we want the future leaders of companies and the country to be domineering or overbearing? I don't know about you, but I know that I do not want this for my daughters or my son for that matter.

I want all of my kids to learn to interact with others without being overbearing. I want my kids to learn to compromise and work with others...that is what is needed of our future business and political leaders. I do stop my children if I see them displaying bossy behavior. It is not okay for any child (or adult) to force their way upon others. They should stand up for themselves, but that is different than putting others down. Why is it wrong for us to point out bossy behavior as wrong? Bossy little girls grow up to be bossy and mean teenage girls and bossy and uncompromising adult women. This culture of acceptance has gotten us to a point where everyone puts up with behavior that is simply unacceptable. Instead of telling our daughters that they have leadership skills when they are being bossy, we should take the opportunity to instruct our daughters on how to exhibit true leadership skills such as:

*Trustworthiness     *Passionate     *Ability to motivate others     *Ethical behavior     *Unselfishness

If we really want our daughters to become leaders, we must teach them that the opinions and ideas of others matter just as much as their own. They must learn how to engage and captivate others to their way of thinking. When our daughters grow up, if they are bossy, they will not find people want to work for them or with them. However, if we teach our daughters how to inspire others with their ideas, they will have people flocking to work with and for them.

In parting, I ask you to stop the next time you see a little girl "exerting her independence". Is she really just standing up for herself, or is she truly being bossy? If it is the latter of the two, I hope that you step in to help her see how she can redirect her passion in a positive way. After all, we don't want our daughters to be like Little Miss Bossy in the Roger Hargreaves book, where all she does is go around telling others what they should be doing. Nope, I'd much rather my daughters be more like Little Miss Sunshine and go around making the world a better place because of their positive behavior and attitudes.