I'm Not Sorry That I'm A Lousy Friend

I'm am genuinely excited for your upcoming wedding, baby, promotion, and everything else happening in your life, but...

I'm a mom.

I will not be the type of friend that stops by or calls you daily just to chat. On a good day, I will comment on your Facebook status about how great you look, but more likely than not, I will just click the "Like" button, put my phone down, and run off to do something with my kids. I am not the friend that will sit beside you and gossip about all of our mutual friends and acquaintances.

I do want to know about the exciting life events that you are experiencing, but I'm going through some of my own. Although you may not realize it, watching my son throw the perfect pitch or get that tackle or watching my daughters get a new best race time or landing their back handspring are all very exciting life events. They may not seem as important as a wedding or birth to other, but they are just as important if not more to my family. When I married my husband, we were overjoyed because we were committing to spend the rest of our lives together, celebrating our love for one another. This love became tenfold when we had our children. It was our love for each other that made us decide to get married and have children; that love is also the reason that every accomplishment our kids have is a huge life event for our household.

This is the reason why I come across as a lousy friend. My focus is on my husband and my kids. We didn't celebrate our love in marriage and the birth of our children, just to stop celebrating after those life events. My kids and my husband just won't take a back burner to other things. Five years from now, a friend won't care if I was helping them craft shower decoration for their baby shower, but my kids will remember sitting on my lap reading books. Ten years from now, a friend will not remember if I called or stopped by on a random Tuesday evening to say hi, but my children will remember that I was right beside them coaching their run club. Twenty years from now, a friend will not remember that I went out for a drink with them, but my husband will remember spending the evenings with me talking about our days after the kids have gone to bed.

I will be there for you if you need me. Are you moving? My husband and I will both be there to help you pack and move. I will be there for your bridal and baby shower and wedding. However, if one of my kids has a game, I will be at it and come to your event after. If you don't understand this, it goes back to the fact that our kids are the offspring of our love and they mean the world to us!

If you call me, I may not answer, but I will get back to you to talk. I do love being your friend, but my love for my husband and kids is stronger...I hope you understand this.

I have heard several times that if people are good friends, they will make time for you. This is true, but a GREAT friend realizes that making time for each other doesn't mean talking to spending time together daily, weekly, or even monthly. Making time for each other can be as simple as a quick text to say hi or asking how everything is going. Great friends realize that their friend's family will be their number one priority, and they won't be angry when their friend makes their family number one!

I am still the same friend that you have always had, I just have prioritized and my family is now and always will be my number one. I'm not sorry if you think that this makes my a lousy friend. I'm hoping that you are a great friend and realize that I am still your friend, too!